What to eat?
You'd think that with me weighing 700lbs and Chris proudly standing at 274 1/2lbs (oh, you have to put the half in there! It officially gets him below 275!! LOL) that we wouldn't have a problem deciding on what we will eat. Each and every meal, whether we go out (which we do often) or whether we eat at home, we have the same conversation.

Chris: Whaddya wanna do for breakfast/lunch/dinner? And don't say you don't care.

Me: I don't care. *insert snicker here*

Chris: *insert his annoyed sigh here* Well are you craving something?????

Me: EVERYTHING!! I'm starving!

Chris: So whaddya want?

Me: Pizza!!! *insert second snicker here*

Chris: *insert MAJORLY annoyed sigh here* Seriously. . . whaddya want?

Me: SERIOUSLY! I don't know, what do YOU want? Aren't YOU craving something?

Chris: Meat. (hello duh!! He's on the Atkins diet!!)

Me: *insert my annoyed sigh* Just pick something!

Chris: I just wish you'd tell me what you want!

Me: Every time I tell you what I want, it gets shot down so you might as well just make the decision and do it now!

Chris: ~~~~silence~~~~

Me: Why don't you just call me back when you decide ok????

Quite the loving couple huh?? ;) We used to have the strike out/suggest rule. One person suggests something/a place and if the other doesn't want to eat there/it, they are responsible for the next suggestion. It worked like a charm until 1. Cale was born 2. Chris started his diet! The funny thing is when we're around my parents they do the same thing, but worse. Dad always ends up spitting mad and does that "laugh". . .oooohhhhh I HATE that laugh! It's the, "I'm laughing in order to not rip your head clean off of your body leaving nothing but a blood dripping spine" laugh. Scary really.

So the moral of the story. . .don't ask me what I want to eat. I've spent one year and five months conforming my eating habits to that of my husband in order to to buy him the one and only worldly posession he desires with every fiber of his being - a big screen tv. And just in case anyone is counting (which no one is besides Bubba himself. . .maybe Joe. . .but that's just because Chris has brainwashed him) there are only 44 days until Chris will spend every last penny we have, deprive us of house, food, clothing and entertainment center, to buy the Mitsubishi 623 (or whatever model it is today). But I digress.

For the love of George, just pick something to eat and I'm bound to find something that will fill that void in the pit that I call a stomach.

Happy Birthday to ME!!!
Remember how I saidI love birthdays?? Well it's my birthday and I've tried to keep it VERY low key and not write it on my car LOL I am 26 today and Chris woke me up at midnight to say happy birthday (I think that's what he said, it was really mumbled and slurred) Chris took today off and we got to hang out. My sister not only sent me an email at the butt crack of dawn, but also left me a voicemail on my cell stating that if she had called the house phone I would have "killed" her :) Then my dad called to wish me a happy birthday and Chris' grandma played phone tag with me:) and my Gram called too. Mom called somewhere in there too. Chris and Cale and I then went and ate pizza. Why pizza?? Well, Chris' Atkin's diet doesn't work well with pizza and I don't get it very often. It was AWESOME!!! For dinner we went to the "southern" restaurant. . .where everything is fried!! The steak, chicken, okra, potato and even the corn :) Then remember the dessert I spoke of a couple of weeks ago? We went and picked it up and GORGED ourselves! Even Cale was so full he couldn't get out of the floor. Now that's what I call a great birthday!! :)

Before dinner, it started to rain and Chris screamed to get the video camera. Scared me to death, but I grabbed it and took off out front. There on the driveway stood Chris and Cale. . .in the rain!!! I don't know what happy pills Chris took, but he and Cale were running up and down the driveway just having a blast. Chris told me that it never rains a warm rain with no wind, thunder or lightening. He's right. . .usually we get tornado sirens accompanying the rain!LOL I took a ton of pics and you can see my two rain drenched boys playing in the rain. (I thought they looked like they lived in the projects but Chris just said it's what you do when you don't have a pool! LOL) The neighbors even came out to watch them play along with the roofers that were yelling things in Spanish! ;)

I received some very sweet cards and emails, including a very heartfelt confession from my mom. It's killing her that she's having to work and can't see me today. It's so great to know that she respects me as a daughter, friend, mother, sister and granddaughter. Dad put the same thing in his card. It's those types of warm fuzzies that keep you going when your child is screaming at the top of his lungs while you're trying to check out in a store and EVERYONE and their dog is staring :) I lucked out with parents and family. Chris and Cale rock my world too and what a great time we all had together!!

So I had a very happy birthday today and plan on enjoying it again next year.

The Freaky Wiggles Girl
Hey, don't most blogs by moms have to mention The Wiggles somewhere?? Well here I go!! LOL

Cale won't watch The Wiggles, he never has. He does, however, enjoy the music. . .just because that's what he's about is music! The only shows he really watches are Bear In The Big Blue House and the Baby Einstein videos. We've got it easy around here!! I swore my child would NEVER watch Barney!! LOL

Our ritual in the morning is once Cale gets up and eats breakfast, we get him dressed then I finish getting around myself (whatever I didn't have time for before he woke up!) We automatically go into my bedroom and the tv MUST be on. And it MUST be on the Disney Channel too! If Martha Stewart is on, Cale will scream and scream and point and go get the remote to try to change it himself (this doesn't usually work b/c he has the fan remote! LOL). It doesn't bother me though, I can handle the Disney Channel and approve of most of the shows.

So between shows they have little songs and lessons etc. They often play songs by either Bear or The Wiggles. Lately, it's been The Wiggles. . .Head Shoulders Knees and Toes (oh yes. . .you know the one!!) Cale is just enthralled by it. But that little girl sitting by, is it a mushroom???? She just FREAKS me out!! Is it me? I can't be the only one that gets the heebie jeebies by this little girl in an elf outfit bobbing her head. Spooky!! LOL

On the bobbing head aspect. . .we were sitting at lunch with my parents yesterday (Oma and Odie on either side of their Witty) and a song came on. Some 80's song that I can't remember right now. Well Cale starts bobbing his head like that little freak from The Wiggles song!! We all crack up b/c he's just a dancing and a bobbing. (For some reason the smiling and head bobbing kind of reminds me of the opening sequence on The Brady Bunch). The moment was strange and scary but at least Cale didn't have that plastic smile plastered on his face with grown men dancing like idiots behind him. Nope, just Oma (in all her jet-lagged glory) and Odie (in all of his sweaty just-got-done-golfing glory) laughing and smiling and enjoying a Witty moment.

But for me, I will forever be terrified of that little girl. . .that head bobbing smile will haunt me in my dreams.

My Loves
Well, this is going to be a follow up to the Father's Day entry. We went to tuck Cale in last night. Our ritual involves Chris changing his diaper, then a game of "Daddy's gonna get Cale" in which he gets excited and throws himself into my chest with flailing arms and legs and a deep belly laugh. He wanted to give me a hug with pats (Chris calls this the Soprano Hug) and then kisses and straight back to Daddy. I was in for the most heart warming moment and didn't know it. . .he looked at Chris and then put his hands together in front of his chest. I stopped and Chris said, "We've been praying before bed this week." It took EVERY fiber in my being to not burst tears right there!! My husband and my son praying together. . .absolutely AWESOME!

At church on Sunday, our preacher taught a lesson on how to be a Christian father. This apparently touched Chris and I am thankful. I grew up in the church and want Cale to do the same thing. Chris finally feels comfortable at church and with the people, but I grew up there so they are second family! :) I am just so thankful. . .for church, my family, my upbringing, my husband and my child. Thinking of it like this and seeing them that way last night kind of makes all the little annoyances go away. It gives me peace.

Happy Father's Day
Today is a big day for me b/c (as those that know me well) I worship my father! He has made mistakes, but he taught me well and we both learned from those mistakes. It was so great to get to spend the morning and early afternoon with my dad and Chris. . .the father of my gorgeous Lover! ;) They are best friends and Lord help us all when they get together. Now Cale has slid right in there and the three of them. . .bad news! LOL

Cale of course doesn't quite "get" Father's Day. All he knew was that he got to carry a card to Daddy and wear Daddy's new watch. Then he got a homecooked meal (compliments of my sis) and got to carry another gift to Odie. One day I hope he truly understands the benefit of celebrating dads. I hope that he loves and respects his dad as much as I do mine.

Chris is a fairly new dad ~ 2 years. He'll tell you it's had its ups and downs. He is learning how to handle the hits and bites and even the blood and crying. It makes my heart tingle when I hear him tucking Cale in at night as he says, "Hey! I said I love you! Are you listening?? I love you!!" I enjoy watching them play and wrestle and mow the lawn together. Chris is often insecure about things, but I now find him saying, "I don't care! Cale enjoys it!" as he claps in the middle of the restaurant. Chris has learned a lot in the past 2 years and he'll continue to learn. I'm proud of all he's achieved, especially with the weight loss. He's becoming such a great model for Cale. I love you Bubba!! I hope you have a great Father's Day!

My heart goes out to those that have lost their fathers, my mom being one of them. It's a little more difficult to be so joyous on a day that celebrates what a great father you have when your's isn't physically here to receive that praise. Mom was happy today, but you could see it sitting there in the back of her mind. She misses him, we all do. He was a great creative man that made messes and kept quiet :) He built the house my grandmother now lives in and enjoyed it so much. He was a craftsman that loved woodworking, drawing and music. Chris reminds me of him many times and I know that Pa would have loved him and especially delighted in Cale.

I am honestly quite scared of the thought of losing my father. I remember when my mom got the news and I cannot even imagine the incredible pain she felt. I just hope that he knows how much I appreciate his listening, his advice, his sarcasm (in rare moments LOL), his humor and his love of myself, Chris, Cale and even our idiot dogs. He is always there when we need him and even when we don't. It is such a wonderful feeling to see how Chris and Cale respect and adore him, it just shows how wonderful he is. So Happy Father's Day dad. I love you so much!

Pondering the mysteries of body wash
This seems to have become quite a topic for our house over the last month or two. Women have enjoyed the lather and scents of body wash for awhile now. When Chris and I first got married, he wouldn't touch it and cringed at the site of the loofa and "pouf" in the shower. We all know how guys change over the years and eventually Chris tried the body wash. Yep, he was hooked!! :) I'll never forget the way he pranced in the room smelling of citrus. He rubbed his arm and said, "I like that stuff! My skin is so soft!" LOL So as of today, my 6'5" 276lb bear of a man openly proclaims his love for body wash and his assuredness of his masculinity. (But remember, in the stories from years ago he was 376. . .it made it even funnier!)

So here is where the story gets interesting. I went errand running with my dad one Saturday. We had to go to Wally World for food and general items. First, he parked a mile away as to save his car from any free flying carts (didn't work well with the Lexus huh dad?? LOL) So after running in the rain , we start the shop, and one that proved to be memorable. He needed toothpaste. . .that was 10 minutes as he searched for just the RIGHT one. Then deoderant. . .another 10 minutes contemplating Degree vs. whomever makes RedZone, stick, roll-on, etc. And the kicker ~ soap.

He smelled 9 million soaps and had me do the same. He settled on the one that he ALWAYS gets, the old fashioned Dial. I said, "Hey dad, they have your dial in the body wash." To which he replied very casually, "Yeah, I've tried it before. I just can't control it." This is where I fell on the ground of the soap aisle at Wally World laughing hysterically praying to God Almighty that I don't wet myself in public. I need clarification. . .what exactly was there to control with body wash?? (which I'm sure you're also asking yourself!) I tried to get him to explain it during the remaining 1 1/2 hours of our excursion, and all he could tell me was, "It's just --splahg-- everywhere! And that fuzzy thing. . .I wouldn't be caught dead using that stuff."

So apparently some men are old fashioned and enjoy their Dial soap. The thoughts of "fuzzy things" and body wash make them run for cover. Chris and I laughed about it last night as he got in the shower clutching his brand new body wash and smiling proudly. Luckily dad has his old standby Dial, for when he smells like "La poopay" :)

YeeHaw for the greatest show on earth!!
Well cyber friends, we took Cale to his first circus on Saturday night (compliments of his great-grandparents!!) and the child ATE IT UP!!!!!! He absolutely loved it!! We got there early and went down to the rings and he got to see an elephant less than two feet away and his eyes got big and he goes, "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" LOL Then as the show started some clowns came out and played that song (all I can remember is I've heard it on the net with some dancing hamsters?? If you know where it is or what it is, send it to me please!!) and it had a techno beat and he started clapping and swinging his legs (you can see him doing this in the pictures) and started yelling! He just loved it. Once they turned the lights off he started to get a little clingy, but within 15 minutes he was back in his chair pointing and waving. It was such an awesome experience for us and for him!

Now on the flip side. . .we have a bit of a problem with this child. He tends to be. . .em. . .er. . .stubborn might be the word. He hits/bites/pinches for no reason. He knows he shouldn't do it (he'll tell you it's mean) but he does it regardless. It's that lovely age :) He managed to totally flip lunch upside down after church yesterday. He reached over and slapped the tar out of me and I leaned over and sternly told him, "YOU DO NOT HIT" as I swatted his leg. That just egged him on and daddy took his hiney out of there. He ended up having to leave the restaurant twice and screamed and kicked the entire time. Finally we got our food and ate and Oma took him outside so we could breathe! :) Of course it doesn't help that his Oma and Odie laugh behind their napkins or hands. He's a smart cookie and know that he's entertaining them. In my opinion Oma and Odie need to attend grandparenting school!!

Here's a look into my mind :)
So I am taking Cale to Gymboree today. I get out of the car and immediately suck my gut in (you ladies know what I'm talking about!). Why do I do that? Well, in my mind I'm thinking, I want to look good for him. Him who?? *blushing* Well just in case at that exact moment at that exact place I need to look thin in case someone like, say. . .Timothy Olyphant should pass by. But seriously, is he going to say, man, look at that "thick" chick with a flat stomach getting a baby out of a car. Let's stop! Even though I am a movie star, it doesn't matter. We'll live happily ever after! Then reality slaps me, HELLO!!?? Piper??!! Are you FREAKING SERIOUS??!! Oh well, a girl can hope right?? LOL When I tell Chris this stuff he just laughs and gives me "the eye roll". I'm still waiting to hear back from Andy Garcia!! :)

Getting fat for a cause
Nice way for me to justify eating brownie mix huh?? Why was I making brownies you ask?? Well I'll tell ya why. Chris has a cousin, Andy, that was deployed to Iraq in March. He voluntarily went. We just read a letter that Bubba's aunt received and he is doing well, but craves home cooked stuff. So, Chris decided that I needed to bake him a bunch of brownies that he can share with the other guys too. So I had to sacrifice my weight (and the integrity of my now chocolate dribbled shirt) and I made them. Three batches!! :) YUMMY!!!!!!! This will be the first of probably many "shipments" that we send overseas. He says that protein bars, m&ms and chips are like gold over there. Okie dokie then! That's what we'll send ;)

We hadn't spoken to Andy much before. He lives in another town and unfortunately we don't get together often. But, it's time to come together and support him and that's what we plan on doing. As a mother I cannot imagine having my son clear across the earth. We are praying for Andy and all of the other troops that aren't home in the safety and comfort of their families. In Andy's words, "it means alot to me for you to show an interest in what I do and support my cause." I hope that they all know how thankful we are. God's speed to them all. . .and enjoy those brownies!

Momma's Lover
As I sit here typing, I am hearing the laughter of the child I created with Chris. It makes me smile!! He's running around saying his new favorite, "Doy doy doy Momma!!!!!! Doy doy doy. . ." Now, for the 80's children, doy means something totally different than what he means. Of course, therein lies the problem, I don't exactly know what he means! LOL But regardless, I love listening to him make himself laugh and learning to talk. I still look at him on a daily basis and think, "My gosh!! I just love him with every fiber of my being!" Now, if every child in the world was loved like that, what a great place we would live in. My heart breaks for those that have no family or are tossed throughout the system. I was lucky enough to be adopted by a great family and they taught me many things. I would honestly take every baby that needed a home, but then I would also need a home because Chris would kick me out! ;)

Whoa. . .it's quiet. Mothers know that quiet does not equal good! LOL Ok, so he was playing peek-a-boo by himself. So cute in one way but so sad that he doesn't have a sibling *nudging Chris* Did I say that I just love that kid???? ;) It's amazing to me how my heart aches with love. Chris took him to Gymboree last night and I had some quiet work time and when he got back it was like we hadn't seen each other for days!!

He's trying to talk more and I love when he sees someone or when we walk in his room after he's been asleep and he peeks out and says, "HIIIIIIII!" He's just too much!! Or when he's singing songs or mumbling to himself and we just say, "Say OH" and he stops talking and says, "OH" :)

And I know that our family enjoys hearing him talk as much as we do! He says Ma, Pa, Tata, shsh (for Stacey), Momma, Daddy, Ahlee (for Carly), Ssssskkk (for Skye our dog), he's changed Grammy to Oma (which we found out is German for Grandma!! Maybe there is such a thing as past lives!) and we've been working on Grandy. That's the clencher. . .when asked to say Grandy he says deedee. When he sees a car like my dads he says, "No no na!" (which is "what grandy says") So one day I came up with the name Odie. Cale has started putting it with Grandy and he now pronounces it "Ah dee". So now we have Oma and Odie. Weird and different but they LOVE it and have approved it ;) Anything for their Witty boy.

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Property of Cale. . .one day shy of 2 years and 1 month