I'm alive!
Topic: Weirdness
I know I know. . .I haven't updated this lately. But, you can all sleep soundly tonight because I am alive. I did make it through surgery and so did "Dot." We had a bit of trouble with pain relief which meant I was aware of all the pain after surgery, but I now feel like a new woman!!

Wednesday after I'd written my last entry, we went and had dinner with Ma and Pa (Chris' grandparents). I had MAYBE two whole tortilla chips and BAM. . .another attack. It kind of gave me peace of mind to know that we needed to get the darned thing out. The surgeon said it was twice the normal size, filled with sludge and numerous tiny stones. If I felt up to the challenge, I'd post the pics for you. ;) A week later at my post op appointments, I'd lost a total of 20 pounds, but felt better and "Dot" was a trooper through it all. Now I'm enjoying anything I can get my hands on, but it's taken me awhile to lose my "I can't eat anything" frame of mind.

Now, on other news, this Thurs at 2 CST, we go to find out what "Dot" really is!! We can hardly wait!! Then we'll go shopping and start planning like mad! The general feeling of family and friends is a girl, but unlike Cale, I have no sure and certain feelings what this one is. Kind of strange really. But the beauty part is that means I'll be happy and euphoric and won't be disappointed no matter what the outcome. . .unless we don't get to find out and then I'll be a force to reckon with! LOL

And on another front, iVillage is who I hosted all of my websites with. Well, they're not hosting them anymore and were supposed to transfer all of the information over to Lycos about 3 weeks ago. So far that I've heard, no one's sites have been transferred so I'm not sure what's up with it. So if anyone knows of a great website builder that's free with PLENTY of room, please let me know! Ya know, just in case I have to rebuild the MILLIONS OF PAGES. Then I'll be yet another force to reckon with! LOL Maybe I should just go take a nap and come back to this later so I'm not so threatening!! ;)

Bring on the food!
Topic: Me!
You all know how miserable I've been on my gallbladder chicken diet and according to my OB's official weight records, as of Monday I'd lost 16 pounds.

I am the type of person to fight fear, uncertainty and sadness with joking and laughter. But beneath the jokes and comments, I'm getting nervous. I sat here a minute ago and went through the past posts on my Grandpa - his death and how he's a special angel to "Dot." I didn't know why I was doing this, it always makes me cry and brings back a flood of emotions, but then it hit me. The peace of mind that I get from knowing he's watching over us is what makes me joke and not worry about tomorrow. Yeah, the food's a giant factor in that also, but I'm more worried about the well-being of this creature that is making my belly stick out.

You can tell me how easy it will be, you can tell me much it hurts, tell me what you want, but I will just see how well I do tomorrow and the days after. You can tell me "Dot" will be fine and unscathed when we get to see him/her in August, but again, I'll wait to make sure by myself. But you can agree with me that God and Grandpa will be with us tomorrow and that will make life better and easier. That and the buffets I plan to hit on the way home from the hospital! ;)

Finally!!
Topic: Me!
Write it down people. . .Thursday, 11:00am CST, I will have this hideous gallbladder removed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bring on the food!! I seriously don't know what I'll eat first. . .I've been deprived of any food with fat for. . . .F.I.V.E.W.E.E.K.S. There may be tears as I sample the first savory bite. Oh yeah, definitely tears b/c what else better is there to do besides cry in a drug induced state????

I go to my OB/GYN tomorrow morning for my 14 week checkup. We'll see what the brick-wall-of-a-nurse says. My blood pressure has been up and my weight down. I believe I'll also ask about an u/s to check on "Dot" after surgery. And while we're looking to make sure that her arms are in the correct spot, might as well see if she's really a she right?? ;)

I would greatly appreciate all the prayers and thoughts you can muster to send to the great state of Oklahoma on Thursday. And now I'm being summoned by my child. He's singing something about Odie's truck. Oh!! And 10 minutes until AFV comes on!! Peace out.

A quick note
I am lucky enough to have both Chris & Cale with me today on Valentine's Day. BUT, I just want to wish a Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. Those with special loves - hug them close, those waiting for their special love - hopefully next V-Day you'll be together, those who have lost their special love - cherish the memories, and even those so ticked off at the person they should love the most that they are thinking of cutting each bud from the thorny stem and busting the vase on his car - to each his own. :) I pray that each of you find happiness and peace, no matter what your situation is.

Now go have 5 chocolates for me - I'm here with dry chicken and pretzels.

Oh my heart!
Topic: Momma's Lover Dover
I seriously love him. . .no. . .REALLY love him. He's just the cutest most hard headed kid I know. But, I call him Lover for a reason!! Here are some examples of why. AND, if you have a weak heart, you might not want to continue reading b/c your heart will flutter flitter flutter with his overwhelming cuteness.

I had a headache the other night and Chris told Cale that momma's head hurt. He walked over to me, grabbed my head and kissed my head saying, "Kisses. There, momma head all better now." (just wait, it keeps going!)

At the beginning of this week when I went to get him from his room, I walk in and he pats my belly and says, "Momma, Cale go hospital, get baby sister today." How sweet is that?!?! AND, on the topic of the baby, he will also go get the doppler we rented and tell us that he wants to hear baby sister thump thump. (ok, we have NO clue if it's a girl or not, but Cale insists it's his sister!)

And yesterday, we were rocking in daddy's chair and he said, "Rock rock baby." I said, "Well, you'll need to go get your baby so we can rock him." He pats my stomach and says, "Cale rock rock baby sister in momma's belly."

And my last two examples. Background info for you - since Cale was born, when he's sleeping or on a blanket, he has ALWAYS felt the blanket/sheet/whatever with the back of his hand. He'll just rub it all over whatever he's touching and I guess it soothes him or something. So, I have my favorite nightgown that's long, and it's that really thin white cotton, like a summer gown. I LOVE IT!! I was wearing it and went to take my robe off so I could change clothes and Cale stops dead in his tracks. He looks at me and says, "Momma! Pretty!!" and sticks his hand out to rub my gown. I quietly said, "What did you say??" And he pats my gown then rubs it and says, "Momma pretty!" Then last night, he came to give me night night kisses and hugs. I picked him up and he kissed me and then rubbed the back of his hands on my face and said, "Momma feel good!" Is that child just not the epitomy of sweetness?!?!? Just remind me of that when he's screaming, "CALE BE NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" as he stomps off to time out. ;)

Holy smokes
Topic: Weirdness
So last night we're waiting for Cale to wake up from his nap. . .wait, how many entries do I start out with the word "So. . ." b/c I might need to find another more fitting word. But I digress.

It's Ma's birthday and we are meeting the whole clan for dinner (what will Piper eat?!?!? MORE DRY CHICKEN!?!?!?!?) and Chris, of course, is FrEaKiNg out about the time. Hi, yes, we have 45 minutes before we need to be there and it only takes 15-20 minutes to get there. CHILL OUT!

I'm a HUGE ABC watcher and the commercial comes on for World News Tonight with Peter Jennings. As I cram some bubble wrap around the picture of Cale for Ma, I hear him say, "Blogging. Should you be fired for things that you say in your personal online journal?" I look up at Chris without missing a beat and laugh and say, "Ha!! They've been dooced!!!" And Chris was all, "Huh??" And I go on to explain that in my daily blog lurking, I read a blog named Dooce written by Heather, a friend of a friend of a friend (ya know that kind) and she got fired from her job for her blog, BUT, the key here, is that b/c of being out of town, slightly busy and pregnantly tired, I haven't kept up with my daily blog readings, I missed the announcement that SHE WAS FEATURED IN THE REPORT!!!!!!

Read it for yourself! Interesting huh???? Definitely something to ponder for those in the working world. As for myself, I'd LOVE to see Chris fire me over things written here. He's scared to death that I'll take off again on a weekend or shoot, 3 days to Tulsa without taking Cale. OH THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!!! ;) Wouldn't want the boys to have any bonding time now would we?? Yep, let the two of them fire me. Then the world would come crashing down when Chris couldn't find Cale's milk and Cale could be smelled before he could be seen. FIRE ME!!! I DARE YA!!!

Oh YIKES!!!
Topic: Weirdness
So I've been sick and not a happy camper. I was told to rest yadda yadda yadda and one day, ended up here in front of the trusty Dell. Now. . .the only word to describe it is OBSESSED!!!!!! Seriously. It's worrisome.

It's a game called Zuma and I've been trying to hide my addiction to it from Chris and everyone else. But for those that went with me down the Lemonade Tycoon road, you know I won't steer you wrong.

Let me also say this. DO NOT EMAIL/POST TO ME WITH COMPLAINTS THAT YOUR LIFE/JOB/KIDS ARE SUFFERING BECAUSE YOU ARE NOW CAUGHT UP IN ZUMA MANIA. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT. LET THIS SERVE AS A WARNING TO YOU.

Now, have fun!! *insert evil snickering laugh here*

ELEVEN
Topic: Me!
11. . .11. . .11 is one short of a dozen. 11 is the number after ten and before 12. 11 is how old I was when I was in sixth grade. But also, 11 is how many pounds I've lost since Dec 30!!!!!!! 11!!!! Do you get that??? E.L.E.V.E.N. I thought pregnant people were supposed to GAIN weight. Oh no, not when you tell them they can't eat anything worthwhile. I'm so chicken and turkey'd out that the thought makes me gag!!!!

So I'll leave you with it one more time. Eleven.

Pregnancy and gallbladder = the new fad diet

The new saying
Topic: Momma's Lover Dover
Well, the bad luck strikes again and I am now sick. I seriously didn't think life could get any worse, but boy was I wrong. So poor Chris had to take today off of work to let me try and regain some of my former being and to help handle the child that knows his momma doesn't feel good, has a runny nose himself, and REFUSES to listen to a thing I say.

I slept until 10 this morning. . .yes, Michelle, a slugabed! ;) I fall out of bed to see Chris and Cale in the living room watching one of Cale's Baby Einstein movies in their jammies. After an hour of sitting there, Chris tells Cale it's time to get dressed. Off they go leaving me in my robe with my lonely box of kleenex. All of a sudden, they call me into Cale's room. I walk in and Cale looks at me and says, "You 'anna piece dis????" I stood there in shock and then finally said, "Did you ask me if I wanted a piece of this????????" Cale and Chris both burst into laughter. Isn't that lovely??? My son will now be picking fights by cocking his blonde head and saying, "You 'anna piece dis????" But man, it sure is funny!

Would this be considered another affirmation as to why we suck as parents??

A belated birthday
No, I didn't forget his birthday yesterday. Numerous times I fought back tears and forced myself to smile and go about my day. I just didn't want to deal with it ya know? I also, didn't call anyone, especially my Grandma, to see how they were doing. I saw my dad at his house, we laughed and talked and watched Raymond, but I could feel it in his kiss and his hug as I left and I rushed out the door so he couldn't see me break down.

So although it's a day late, I sure didn't forget. And it was SO hard to celebrate Carly's the day before, knowing that there was an empty spot in the house.

---

You know how much we love you,
you know how much we care,
and although we cannot see you,
we know that you are there.
I often look at pictures,
remembering you here,
and long to hug you so hard,
a warm embrace so dear.
I told Cale it was your birthday,
I swear, he understands,
as he sang a happy birthday song,
and joyfully clapped his hands.
I hope you got my birthday wish,
I sent a hug and kiss up too,
And as hard it was for all of us here,
I know it was an extra special birthday for you!

---

Happy birthday in heaven Grandpa. I hope you got an extra big glass of milk with your cake. . .and please tell me it wasn't dateloaf!! I love you!!!