It won't leave my mind

I heard about it today for the first time and it just won't leave my mind - the story of the Kim Family.  I will continue to pray that they find James Kim and I cannot even imagine the ordeal that they have gone through.  I wish I could do something to help, I wish I could hug Kati Kim and tell her what an extraordinary woman she is.  And what a wonderful gift she gave her children, to keep them fed and nourished for NINE days by breastfeeding both.  Do you hear that?  SHE BREASTFED HER CHILDREN FOR NINE DAYS.  You can't tell me that's not a lifesaving gift.

Continue to keep this family in your thoughts. . .my heart goes out to them. 

Mom & Dad
Last year, 2005, my parents both turned 50. It was not readily accepted by my dad, but mom embraced it and rolled with it. I had my dad help me prepare a "surprise" party for my mom, but in reality, the joke was on him because it was really a surprise party for BOTH. I had invited friends and family and prepared a video of their life. It was rather lengthy so I have shortened and want to share it here. Enjoy the show!

Happy Birthday Mom & Dad

Pru's Paci
Topic: Pruitt

I present to you Pruitt's paci. It's called the Binky® Comfort Flex™ Most Like Mother® Pacifier.  We used the same kind with Cale, but since Cale was born, these are VERY hard to find for some reason.  Let me tell you the story of this poor pacifier.

I'm one of those people that doesn't like her kids to have a pacifier.  I guess I just didn't want them to be three and walking around with a paci, so the compromise I made with Chris was that they could have one, but only for sleeping.  That's our paci rule.  When we decided that Pruitt liked the same pacis that Cale did, we inspected them, threw the ones away that were worn, hunted down new ones and washed them all.  We continue to inspect them regularly and only give them to Pruitt when he's sleeping (two naps a day and at night).  We don't boil them, or throw them in the dishwasher.  These pacifiers have not been abused.

So you can imagine my shock when I hear Pru cry like he's being tortured.  I run into his room to see him trying to put this paci back together.  No, he didn't choke on it and we thank God for that, but this scared me!  I immediately called Chris who immediately called Playtex.  He actually talked to two or three people to go over what happened because they couldn't believe it.  They were all worried that the baby was fine, and we assured them that he was, and they all apologized all over themselves.  They sent us three new packages too, but here's what got me.  1.  I never knew this could happen!  2.  I received a "courtesy" call from a representative of Playtex.  She went over what she had heard, then proceeds to tell me that I should have replaced EVERY pacifier after they were 2-3 months old because they break down with "normal" use.  I asked what "normal" use was and she said, "That's an average of being used over a day."  For Pruitt, I don't believe he uses one for the "normal" amount of time in three days combined.  She also tells me that *I* am the one that caused it to break apart because *I* continue to boil them and put them in the dishwasher.  Ummm. . .no. . .not me. . .not this family.  If it's dirty, it gets rinsed off, maybe with a tad of soap if it's not an overly busy day.

I was shocked that this was now being blamed on me, not on a faulty product.  HOWEVER, she did stress a lot how much they want me to send them the pacifier pictured above for quality testing. . .but it's still *my* fault??

I guess the moral of the story can be whatever you want it to be.  It can be a reminder to check your child's pacifiers, it can be a lesson not to buy Playtex, it can be a lesson not to give your child a pacifier.  Take away from this what you want, but I did want it out there. 

My first birth
Topic: Doula Talk

For those that don't know, I am currently training to be a doula.  A doula is a woman that is a labor support person for a laboring mom.  I never had a doula with my births, but I know how much I would have benefited from having one.

C and I met when she came to my house for a babywearing class.  I mentioned to her my trauma from my c-section and how I wanted to become a doula so that I can help others from being cut unnecessarily.  Right there on the spot she asked if I would be her doula.   That was August. 

C's due date was 11/14, however she was measuring big.  At 36 weeks, baby was breech and after a visit to a chiropractor, baby turned.  The doctor threatened her with lots of scary things, but she'd always ask for information and statistics and knew that he just wanted her to have the baby on his timeline.

After a weekend of early labor and a false trip to the hospital, C finally decided to go with the induction on Tues.  I let her make her decision, and went up to the hospital at 8:30am to support her.  C wished for a natural labor, no drugs, no epidural, minimal interventions. 

Unfortunately, she got stuck at 6cm for about 5 hours.  She was such a trooper and handled the pain well.  I was nervous because she had really started to need me to reassure her she was doing well and that baby was fine.  Yes, I've been through labor twice and a vaginal birth once, but it is different when you're the one supporting, but I stayed by  her side all day.  I was shocked at my stamina, especially since I'd had a very small breakfast and nothing but water the rest of the day.

C did finally decide she wanted an epidural around 5:45pm.  The doctor planted a seed with her at a weak point and she started insisting.  I assured her that she'd done fine and that if she wanted one she could have one.  I was asked to leave while they administered the epi, but was asked back in after it was in place.  She was still having contractions and was needing help breathing through them.

Not one minute after I entered the room, she gave me a "look" and I asked what she was feeling.  She said, "I NEED TO PUSH!"  I quietly told her not to push, let's pant like a dog instead and I got the nurse.  She was checked and totally complete, before the epi even took full effect.  She stayed nice and calm and relaxed while the dr headed to the hospital, about 10 minutes passed.  When the dr came in he was shocked.  I believe he honestly thought she'd end in a c-section.

Six pushes later, at 6:20pm, a baby girl was born into the world, all 9lbs 4.5oz of her.  It took everything in me not to cry. . .however I did tear up.  It was so amazing to be asked to be a part of a human's first minutes in this world. . .to be there as a new life begins.

Words can't accurately describe the feeling I had when I saw the baby and looked at C.  To see that connection of a mother and her child the MINUTE it happens.  To see dad gasp. . .to see the big sister's eyes shine.  To know that I had helped, to know that I was wanted there to share in these intimate moments, to know that I helped mold a memory. . .to receive a heart-felt thank you after it was over.

There really are no words. . . . . . . 

Our Halloween
Well, Halloween has come and gone and it seemed to be going rather well. But wouldn't you know, SOMETHING had to go wrong. It was inevitable right?

We started by ToT'ing at Chris' work that morning. Cale was an un-masked Mr. Incredible and Pruitt, a darling monkey that stole the hearts of many. Candy was plentiful and we had an excellent time.

For ToT'ing that night, we planned on having chili and the family over to see the boys in their costumes. The family came over. However, Pruitt didn't feel the need to WAKE UP so he slept the entire time and missed the night of fun. Cale enjoyed his ToT'ing the neighborhood. Again, candy was plentiful and fun was had by all.

Around 2 am, Cale called out to Chris. Chris answered his call, then returned to me going, "GET UP! He's thrown up." I rush into Cale's room and he plays it off like no big deal. We get his bed changed, him cleaned up and changed, him back to bed and we lay down. Five minutes later, "MOMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It hit him again. This time we figured out it wasn't a one time thing. We'd been through this before. But thist time, Cale literally threw up for eight consecutive hours. The medicine that we had been given back in January didn't touch it. And, to add insult to injury, after the second incident, around 2:30am, CHRIS started. That got me scared. I sat with Cale all night wondering if Pru would follow suit, or if I would get it. I hadn't thrown up in almost eight years and surely didn't want to start!

After a tearful phone call to my mom (hey. . .I needed to vent to someone), she came over just as Pru woke up. Pru didn't want to nurse either, which worried me, but at 8am, he started to whine and proceeded to throw up on himself and the rug. I just simply got dressed, informed Chris that I was taking the boys to the doctor, packed up and off we went. Luckily, the pediatrician is cool with me and wrote both boys a prescription AND one for Chris too.

This entire time my stomach had been aching. I kept praying that was as bad as it would get and was thinking, "So far so good!" When we got back from the doctor's office, mom ran the prescriptions to get them filled, picked up pedialyte and some chicken noodle. She walked back in and asked if I wanted to eat or sleep. I told her I wasn't feeling well, I was off to nap. . .BAM. . .it hit me. It's like my body was waiting for back up. I then laid down and woke up 2 hours later to find a quiet house. Chris was snoring and the boys were GONE. Mom had taken them to her house and, miraculously, both boys were FINE. Neither one would eat, but the pedialyte was staying down.

We were all four a bit tired and beat down this morning, but as the day has worn on, we're doing a bit better. Lots of fluids and sleeping seems to help!!

Regardless of this, I will congratulate Amy for having a better Halloween this year. Guess next year is our year huh??

My Favorite Things
Topic: Weirdness

Isn't it time for some more of my favorite things??  I do believe it is!  It's been TWO YEARS since my last favorites entry.  Here we go!!

We'll start with Crocs.  Chris said it best.  "With the world being as technologically advanced as it is, why do the shoes that are the most comfortable have to be so ugly?"  I never thought they were that ugly, but they just didn't fit me right.  Then, they came out with Mary Janes!  I got to Dillard's a mere day after they received them in stock and QUICKLY bought the gold pair.  I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM!! They are much narrower and not as clunky as the classic Beach style.  The woman I bought them from told me to buy black so they wouldn't "stand out and be so different" but HELLO!?!?  I adore shoes that stand out and are different!!  How many other women do you know that got married in WHITE Dr. Marten boots??

I always like to include skin care in my favorites list but this time there are TWO :)  The first is by Dove.  I have always been known for my name, my hair and my tan.  Since I've had children, my tan has gone down hill and I've begun to look like a white woman!  (Oh the shock and horror! LOL)  *Somehow* I ended up with a sample of Dove's new Energy Glow Lotion.  OH MY HEAVENS this stuff works and it works GREAT!!  I sported a very nice, smooth and non-orange tan this summer without being in the sun!  And it smells pretty darn good too!!  Now, I put it on about once every 2 weeks to maintain a certain color and no one knows it comes from a bottle.  No laying out, no orange and no tanning beds.  Gotta love Dove!!

On my last favorites list, I poured out my love for Philosophy products.  Yes, I do still love them and enjoy them when I get them (and with a new Sephora store opening in one of the malls, the products will be much easier to obtain), but since my Great-Aunt Myra purchased me some Vitabath, and it's widely available, I've been using it.  Chris has even been seen buying me some for gifts.  It's always a pleasing sight for me!

Next, I'm going to tell you about a product that I was VERY (and I mean VERY) hesitant on even thinking about.  One, because I don't openly talk about a woman's bodily functions (unless I'm helping someone to conceive in which I'm an open book) and two, because this just seemed like a rather "crunchy" thing to purchase.  But once I read about it, and talked to other women about it, it just seemed to make sense to me.  What is *IT* you ask?  It's called the DivaCup.  It's surprisingly comfortable, surprisingly easy to use and surprisingly clean!  Seriously. . .read up on it.  Ask others if they've heard about it.  I love mine and am now a bonified believer.  And as a funny for you, when telling and trying to explain the concept to Chris without him seeing it, he referred to it, and still does, as the "shot glass."  Nice eh??

I've been doing my doula training reading and one of the readings is a book by a woman named Ina May Gaskin.  Since reading her book on childbirth, I now suggest it to any woman that is pregnant.  Even those that aren't pregnant but that aren't done having children, I suggest you read this book.  Some parts are a bit on the "crunchy" side, but the stories are seriously empowering.  As much as I didn't want to give birth again because of the c-section, I can now say I'm *debating* it, which is more than I could say this time last year.

Wanna know something else I can't seem to live my life without?  OXICLEAN!  When someone talks about a stain they can't seem to get out, I find myself trying not to sound like that info-mercial.  But seriously. . .the stuff rocks!!  From breatmilk poops to spaghetti sauce to avocado!  It gets it all out!  And it doesn't ruin the clothes in the process.  Love it love it LOVE IT!

Well, that's all for now.  I know that I have a ton of other things to add to my list, but I must save them for now.  Have a wonderful evening!

 

What I want for Christmas

I'm sure you're thinking it's kind of early to be thinking Christmas, but considering we're over halfway done Christmas shopping, it's not too early! 

As I type right now, I'm listening to Charlie Daniels and Dueling Banjos.  I was raised with all types of music and have a special place in my heart for bluegrass.  I adore Alison Krauss & Union Station, Ricky Skaggs and even enjoy music by the Dixie Chicks.

My soft spot is for the banjo.  My Pa played the banjo every night and when we would spend the night at their house in Tulsa, we would fall asleep with him playing the banjo in the floor of the den, in front of the tv.  Since his death in 1995, his banjo has done nothing but collect dust.  When I told my Gram that I wished I could play the banjo, she told me I could have his banjo.  So I decided this week that I want banjo lessons for Christmas!  One day, I will play Dueling Banjos.

As I typed this AND listened to Charlie Daniels, I told my sister what I was doing.  Amazingly enough she said, "That's the best thing I've heard in a long time!  He would be so proud of you."  Now I can hardly wait for Christmas!! 

Things related to c-sections
Topic: Me!

There are three things that I wish to touch on right now.  These were to be sent to another person, but I feel. . .not right. . .about talking to her at this point.  So YOU get to read this :)

Firstly, I had a follow-up appointment for my lovely bleeding cysts.  The ultra-sound showed that THEY ARE GONE.  Gone.  No longer residing on my left ovary.  Lucky for me, my doctor wasn't surgery happy and I escaped being cut unnecessarily.  While I was there, I gathered up the courage to ask about my c-section.  I only asked one question.  And that one question was one of the hardest to get out of my mouth:  "When you sewed me up, did I have a single layer closure or double?"   After that, I struggled to listen to what he had to say.  My arms and face started to go numb, my heart started to pound and it became increasingly harder to take a breath.  He explained why "others" feel it's important for a double layer closure and that he routinely does single layer closures unless there's a bleeding issue.  Lucky for me I had a bleeding issue so he gave me "the equivalent of a double closure."  This is good news should I decide to conceive a third child.

My second c-section related writing for the day is this: I've met my hero.  She was at my house back in August but as each day passes I realize how much I think of her.  She has eight children, ages 11 - 10months.  Her eleven year old boy was a c-section.  The rest of her children??  VBACs.  Did you read that?? ALL SEVEN WERE BORN VAGINALLY AFTER HER FIRST CESAREAN!  Pretty impressive if you ask me.

And thirdly. . .hopefully you'll see an improvement in my attitude (yes, I've had an attitude problem for awhile).  I'm switching doctors.  My current doctor I have been seeing since Cale was one month old.  She diagnosed me with Primary Maternal Preoccupation (a form of PPD), anxiety and panic disorder and a slight obsessive compulsive disorder.  She doesn't know she's being left high and dry.  She'll find out shortly.  I just find it hard to move out of any unhappy places when she says, "You are very hard to get through to.  You don't want anyone telling you that you're wrong.  Like with Cale, you couldn't see that you were wrong."  That's when I flat out said, "YES!  I did know that the way I was feeling was wrong.  That's why I came to see you.  It wasn't right and I wanted to change that."  Wanna know what she said?!? "SEE!! You're doing it right now.  You're not listening."   Ummm. . . .I just admitted that I was wrong but I'm not listening??  I've been admitting this for 4 years now and I AM NOT LISTENING?  I'll show you not listening when I don't answer my phone calls from you! (Sorry. . .rather elementary-schoolish of me but seriously!)  How does this relate to the c-section theme of the night?  I'll tell you.

Since Pruitt's birth, I have delt physically and emotionally with the c-section.  I often have problems calling it a birth because for me it wasn't.  When I'd have attacks over the c-section and share them with her, she would tell me that it was no big deal, that I was over reacting and that I needed to move on.  She never asked WHY it was a big deal to me, she never helped me sort through my feelings.  I've been allowed to do that on my own.  Sorry. . .I can only do that so long so I need to find someone to help me.  Yes, most people don't "get" it, but a lot of people don't "get" depression or anorexia, and one of my issues is my c-section.  It's me. . .it's what makes me me.

So there you have it.  Hope you have a great night.  I'm off to bed!

OKC Beautiful
Topic: Bubba

Bubba's place of employment was chosen as September's winner for OKCBeautiful.  This morning on the news, they were going to highlight it and show the pictures taken.  Well. . .the pic that appeared literally sucked.  It showed NOTHING.  SO, I got on the web to see their site.  Ironically, the OKCBeautiful site didn't even cover it. You had to be smart enough to find the link to the OKC Horticulture site and scroll down.  It's on the right hand side and you can click somewhere around it to see it a bit closer.  BUT, that picture is of Bubba and his empoyee Jon!  Bubba is now on the web. . . besides our sites LOL  And for good measure, I'm adding the picture here too!!  Enjoy!!

"Yolanda"
Topic: Bubba

Bubba is a piece of work.  I often wonder what he's thinking, and sometimes I feel blessed that I do NOT know what is going on inside his head.  He's often quiet, but does have moments of pure entertainment.  Wednesday night was one of those moments that I have been unable to shake.

For Christmas, he "wrangled" me up an iPod shuffle.  I like how small it is and I have no need for a screen so I am very content.  Lately, my iPod has been acting up.  Bubba decided that it was time to figure out what was causing it.  He then called up Apple.  They explained to him that they would promptly send out a replacement and we, in turn, were to send our malfunctioned iPod back to them.  THE NEXT DAY. . .my iPod was at the door.  Pretty freaking quick if you ask me.  

The iPod came DHL.  I'm not real sure how their packaging works, but Apple put the return sticker on the outside so when I pulled off the flap, it ripped the return label to shreds.  Not just in half. . .in LAYERS people.  So, Wednesday evening Bubba called up the people at the super-speedy-delivery-of-iPods-Apple and explained the situation.  The man on the other end of the phone asked for the serial number (they always do!) and I read it off to Bubba:

Me ~ 6. . .A

Bubba ~ 6. . .Apple

Me ~ R. . .T. . .2

Bubba ~ Ralph. . .Tom. . .2

Me ~ 4. . .Y

Bubba ~ 4. . .*pause*. . . Yolanda

At which point I stopped dead in my tracks and laughed with some major oomph.  YOLANDA?!?!?  WHO SAYS YOLANDA FOR THE LETTER 'Y'?!?!?  I'm thinking yellow or yo-yo.  But YOLANDA?!?!  The man on the other end of the phone said (according to Bubba), "Ummm. . .okay."  This is something that I've laughed about ever since. 

Ha. . .Yolanda.