My poor lover boy
Topic: Momma's Lover Dover
Momma's lover boy turned 2 1/2 yesterday, and what a hard day he'd had!! It originally started out a week from Tuesday. It was 20 minutes until naptime and we were playing with Emmee (one of our Lhasas) and she took off running down the hall. As he always does, Cale followed behind her just laughing! But it all went south within seconds. Something happened (him being in the hall and my x-ray glasses at the shop I didn't witness this) and Emmee bit him. Within 5 minutes I was whisking him to the doctor's office bloody, bruised and shoeless. The doctor told us he'd be fine, watch for infection yada yada. I felt so bad!

Fast forward to this Tuesday. We'd walked the mall in hopes that Cale would be calm and non-toddler like, but I was feeling mighty icky. So we return home and while sitting in the living room, Cale has one dog on each side of him, patting their backs and saying, "Num, Two! Two dogee!!" to which we smile and nod. Cale goes back and forth with petting the two dogs and not 10 minutes later is in the floor with Emmee. He's patting her back and, as we watched in pure shock, she goes after him, biting him and knocking him backwards. No parent should EVER have to watch this!! Chris grabs Emmee and I fall to the ground and scoop up Cale. This time the blood continues and continues. He lets me look and it's not just his lip this time, it's also his tongue and his gums above his 2 front teeth. Mortified, Chris takes Emmee and drops her at my mom and dad's. We are now searching for a home for her, a home without children. I am so heartbroken! We've had her for 6 years and she was my baby before Cale. It's wild, we'd never had a problem with her before and we, for some reason, thought it would be Skye instead of Emmee.

Then last night. . .what a night for Cale! We sit down to dinner in the living room (it's one of our favorite things to do). In an attempt to get Cale to eat well, we've taken his highchair and placed a TV tray in front of him instead of the highchair tray (which he can successfully take off!). Chris was out grilling him a few ribs and ran to the sliding door, banging and yelling in his way of scaring Cale. Normally this is fun and great, but it scared Cale so badly that he jumped and knocked the tray over. He cried and cried and cried. It was so awful!! THEN, my sister and Jason came over. They were playing "horsey" in the hall and all of a sudden Cale fell off of Carly. When he did, his ear caught the corner of the wall and busted it open. Once again, momma watched in horror but scooped him up to get some loving. Later, my mom showed up, and, like I've posted before, she has a knack for injuring my child. She stepped over the gate onto his hand AND then knocked him in the head with the chair she was so vigorously rocking in. This poor child is so beaten and battered, I'm surprised he won't be taken into custody!! :)

Now, being the good mother that I am (stop laughing!!) there will be pictures of some of these injuries. The first fat lip from Emmee, the second nasty place above his teeth from Emmee, Cale sitting at the TV tray, a picture from mere moments before the horsey fall and yes, probably the ear (which I've yet to see this morning since he's STILL asleep!). Hey, I've got to document these things and besides, we all know how nosey others are, you wanna see them too!! ;)

The search for shoes
Topic: Momma's Lover Dover
Before Cale was born, he had a closet full of clothes and shoes. This child had numerous outfits he never even wore!!! We were set up to 12 months. . .size wise. Well, mother nature had a different plan and at 6 months old, little Cale was wearing 12-18 months! SWOOSH!! That plan went right out the window. Now, at 9 days shy of 2 1/2 years old, Lover wears a size 4T! We can't keep clothes or shoes for him!!!

Hence the hunt for shoes. Not just any shoes, the PERFECT shoes! My mom mentioned buying him shoes that light up, but this was like, oh, 8 months ago. The only shoes that I had seen that had lights on them were character shoes and I don't much care for character shoes/clothes. Mom, knowing this, sent me on a quest for light up shoes. Three months later Cale was still not the happy owner of lighted shoes.

So here I am, straight out of a cast in the heat of June and I find these awesome light up shoes!! No characters and very practical. They were on sale too!!!! AMAZING!!!! ;) BUT, Chris was at work and I can't just off and buy shoes without him there (he's very particular about what Cale wears, he's afraid I'll buy him shoes with bows or something!). So I head home with no lighted shoes in my posession. That night, we catch Cale in his closet, pulling out all of his old shoes and SLAPPING the bottoms to get them to "light up." We knew then that he had to own a pair. We went the next day and bought them for him and he LOVES them!! God has been smiling on us since because he is JUST NOW outgrowing those shoes. Now the problem. . .finding another pair of acceptable light up shoes in a 9 1/2 or 10 (yes, he has huge feet too!) that won't cost $45!! I just know the minute I go out and pay full price he'll only be able to wear them through Thanksgiving!! Chris will shoot me!! BUT, I know what you're thinking, don't buy lighted shoes. PEOPLE!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!! READ MY POST!!! Cale goes to our closet, slaps the bottom of our shoes and then looks at us with pity as if saying, "Man, how incredibly heartbreaking that you don't have the coolest shoes like me. Stride Rite freaking rocks and you are just pathetic un-lighted shoe losers."

So the quest is on. If only his Daddy would get as involved in looking for the epitomy of shoes like he looked for the epitomy of vehicles for me. And no, eBay is flat out of lighted shoes that are approved by Bubba. Pray for a Stride Rite sale. . .and SOON!!!!!!!!

Oooooh!!! It's Halloween!!!
Topic: Me!
Let's face it, I'm a holiday fanatic. I LOVE HOLIDAYS!! I don't care what they are, I feel they are all individually special with their own kinks and fun things and I want to celebrate to the fullest! And tomorrow starts a BIG one! HALLOWEEN!!!!!!

I started thinking about Halloween as soon as the fire crackers were cool ;) Last year I had decided I wanted Cale to be a little biker. . .leather jacket and all. But while searching on the internet discovered that his all time favorite character (Bear from Bear in the Big Blue House) is a costume!! Oh well then. . .I wouldn't have it that I didn't get that danged thing for him! I searched high and low and found new and used ones on ebay and bid and lost and searched and threw a fit until finally. . .I GOT IT!!!!!!! I got it back in September and went absolutely crazy!! I was freaking out!! I whipped it out of the box to find that it was more magnificent than I'd ever imagined!! The minute that Cale saw it he hit the high that I was on! He put it on and pranced around and smiled and it was precious!

Anyway, so I've been geared up to get Halloween HERE! We put off buying candy b/c we knew we'd eat it all before the big night. So we went on a much needed trip to Wal-Mart two nights ago (when is a trip to Wal-Mart NOT needed??) and browsed through the candy aisle. BUT, we hit it with a different thought process. As we walked we asked each other, "Do you like those? What about these? I hate those!" etc. etc. etc. ;) We chose 2 packs of candy that neither one of us cared for and as we left the store I looked at Chris and said, "In theory that's a great idea, but this really BITES!!! I WANT BUTTERFINGER!!!!!!!!!" It was a really good thing we didn't get any because we'd need to go back to the store for more!!

One of the fun things for us started last year when Chris' work started allowing the employees to bring their kids to trick-or-treat the building along with the daycare kids they bring in. Now seriously. . .he's almost 2 1/2 and only 1 1/2 last year. . .how much does he really "GET" trick-or-treating???? He doesn't feel that anticipation of DYING to go out but being told NOT YET for the umpteenth time because your mom makes you eat dinner first (OH THE HUMANITY OF EATING DINNER!!!!). He just thinks that he gets all the attention and candy for NOTHING and life is a handful of suckers. So why take him??? FOR THE CANDY YOU FRUIT LOOPS THAT'S WHY!! I WANT CANDY!!! Therefore Cale will be, once again, going in full force trick-or-treating mode tomorrow night, with one of his watchful parents in tow prompting him to "GET THE CHOCOLATE ONE CALE!"

Once again I prove the point that we suck as parents. . .using our children to manipulate the system of holidays. Oh well, I can't wait to have more ;)

The chilling Park secret
Topic: Weirdness
Can you believe that we have secrets?? Oh yes we do! :) I'm going to go out on a limb and tell you one of the Park Family secrets. . .get ready!

For those that know my dad (OH NO I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT MY DAD AGAIN!! LOL and as Michelle put it, he's going to be "the butt of my hilarity" today), he's a great Christian man with an open ear, some AWESOME advice, off the wall sense of humor and a tender heart. It was often joked about that Chris didn't marry me for me, he married me for dad because they are pretty connected. ;) My dad, however, doesn't enjoy dirt or bugs. Never has and never will. I inherited this from him. I hate the smell of a freshly mowed lawn and panic at the sight of spiders. BUT, my dad has a very weird sick side to him. Let me tell ya the story ;)

Mom LOVES to leave the backdoor open for "fresh air" and the dogs enjoy going in and out. She left the door open last week when she was home and turned in time to see a mouse scuttle into the kitchen. I'm not sure if there were attempts at getting it back outside, but it was there to stay. Now you're probably thinking why are there mice around?? Mom and dad live 1/2 a block from a lake and the houses one street over actually have a little land to them. There are opposums and skunks and snakes around all the time (why didn't we learn this before they moved in??) In one week, this mouse had managed to scare Carly twice (in one day), set the dog off barking and literally attacked poor Jason (what mouse wouldn't love to hide in that big 'ole house anyway??). My dad has an intense love for catching mice. He could NOT wait to catch this mouse. Carly and I were trying to explain to Jason dad's deep passion for this and he just didn't get it. Chris still shudders when thinking about it. Dad always bought regular traps. He said he loves the adrenaline rush when he hears it POP! (sick I know!) but then the wonderful inventors of rodent extermination developed the ever loved and adored sticky trap. This has become my father's weapon of choice. Why you ask?? Well, let's just use my dad's words. "It's not the stickiness that will kill them. And it's not me that will kill them. I just like to take them on a little 'trip.' And it's also not that trip that will kill them. What usually gets them is that ever so sudden and abrupt stop as they hit the side of the house." *insert his evil and ornery laugh/chuckle here* Is that not the sickest thing you've ever heard of???? As I told Jason this story, he didn't even flinch. I thought, "How odd. EVERYONE flinches." Then Jason said to me, "Well I'd like to get it and pinch its little head off!!" Man oh man do dad and Jason get along now!! LOL

What became of that mouse that wrecked havoc on the Park home?? May we have a moment of silence in his memory and maybe I should place a small cross on the side of the house, where he met his untimely passing last night (for which we received a victory phone call).

Flame me if you want. I don't like mice and I never will. They've caused me trauma and carpet burns and I would rather their kind just stay as far away from me as humanly possible. Flame my dad too, but it will do no good. So I warn you, if you are a mouse and live within feet of my dad's house, RUN!! RUN FOR YOUR LITTLE MOUSEY LIVES!!! HE'LL GET YOU!!!!!! ;)

Bo and muriel. . . .
Topic: Weirdness
Ahhhhh. . .the three men in my life. . .shall I name them by age or height or amount of hair?? ;) LOL My dad, Chris and Cale (I went with age) constantly have me in stitches. Usually it's because of a mess up, but I get a good laugh regardless!!

Let's start with dad. He's notorious for flipping words: he does announcements at church and told the congregation "Be sure and keep So and So in your prayers. He'll be having a peacemaker installed on Monday." The people roar with laughter. It doesn't stop there. As he closes he says, "And be sure and rejoin us tonight at 5, Jeff will be preaching on Blessed are the Pacemakers. . .Peacemakers. . .P something!" and again the congregation bursts into hysterical laughter. So it came as no biggie when we were talking about Jason (Carly's boyfriend) and he said, "I was telling one of the guys that Jason is a muriel painter." Ummmm. . .dad. . .I'm not quite sure who Muriel is, but I bet he doesn't care to paint her considering he paints MURALS!!!!!!

Chris, oh, bless his big ole heart! He's so good natured about these things, but his mind works faster than his mouth. Cale loves to put goldfish crackers in a bowl and them dump them on the table. It's really a nightly ritual. He did this a few nights ago and went back to Chris for more crackers proclaiming he was "OUT Deedee!" Chris in a rush to say what he was thinking and watch his show at the same time said, "No, Cale, eat the table first." ROTFLOL I about wet myself!!!! Cale stopped with a perplexed look and I honestly don't know what he did after that. . .I was too busy trying to make it to the bathroom!!

And then there's sweet Cale. He's been doing so well with his speech therapy and has shown major improvement. The thing that amazes his therapist is that he won't say simple words like cat and dog, oh no!! This child says PEPPERONI or PAPERTOWEL or BUTTERFLY!! She can't figure him out!! So I, of course, don't help the situation, but after driving through the neighborhood a MILLION times and him pointing at garage doors saying UP UP UP or DOWN DOWN DOWN, he came to one that was halfway up (or halfway down depending on your perspective). He pointed and said, "Momma! Eh??? Up down up down!" to which I replied without thinking, "Oh no! It's in limbo isn't it?" Yep, he picked it up! That smart little toot now halfway opens and closes EVERYTHING and proudly states, "Momma!! Bo!!" Yes lover, it's in limbo.

Never a dull moment
Topic: Weirdness
I tell ya!! My life makes a great story!! :) Last night Cale cried to talk to Oma. Fine, talk to her. She then tells him that he can call Odie. Fine, we'll call Odie. Is it really a huge surprise that dad didn't answer his phone?? Nah, not a huge surprise. 10 minutes later he called back and said, "Carly's freaking out. Estee (their dog) is missing." So I throw the phone at Cale and go grab the first pieces of clothing I can find. I ran to my car to check my cell phone - 8 missed calls all from Carly. I call and she's absolutely hysterical. I kept telling her we'd find her, it would be ok, I'm headed over to help her look. 9 o'clock I am driving around mom and dad's neighborhood, windows down, spotlight searching houses like a police light yelling MESTY ESTEE!!! ESTEE GIRL?? Jason, Carly and I looked for about 2 hours. (while searching, I didn't find Estee, but found 1 skunk, 1 goose, 1 ra bbit and 2 teenagers making out on the grass behind a tree!) I then went home to help put Cale down, printed off 20 LOST signs and back I go. We drive around some more and then I started laminating signs (I'm a perfectionist,what can I say??). Carly and I put up signs.

Oh. . .let me interject here. Mom and dad were in Tulsa on business and were going to be there on Friday to look for a condo. Once mom caught wind of Estee's disappearance, she freaked and headed home. Somewhere inbetween looking and putting up signs mom showed,I'll say about 11:30pm.

This morning I wake at 8:30 to a lovely singing voice (that's what Cale does when he wakes up, sings and talks to his animals/friends), and I call mom. No word on Estee and Carly's gone back to put more signs and look around the neighborhood. Cale had a hearing screening (which he did fail) at 10:30 so mom and Carly go with me. We then ate lunch and decided to hit the animal shelter to make sure that she's not been picked up. No such luck but you can be sure that I will have a blinkie that says "Adopt A Pet!" Those poor animals!!

Carly is distraught by now, checking messages and calling all the shelters and vets. We get home and put Cale down and Carly and I go to make more signs. The phone rings. . .I RUN to get it and it's an unknown number. It's a woman asking if we lost a white dog. In a panic I say YES!! This woman happened to be on our side of town, doesn't even belong here, and Estee was running down a major road 1 mile from mom and dad's house, stopping traffic. We rush to get her and she won't move!! We believe she'd gotten clipped by a car and as of this writing, we're still waiting for the vet to call us back. We had brought her home, fed her and she wouldn't get up or move. Every time we touched her she yelped so that's when we rushed her to the vet.

She's safe and sound now, and I pray she's not too hurt. So is there a volunteer out there to have a drink for me?!?!? I need one!!

We've GOT to keep that darn dog in the yard!! She's such a spazz!!! Oh well, we love her and missed her and we're glad she's in good hands. Did I fail to mention that the vet's office saw her!?!? She had made it to their office but wouldn't let anyone near her, but they couldn't get close enough to see her tag. That darn dog was so close to home and safety, but she is just so spazzy and "cautious" to realize!! What a 24 hours!!!!

Lots of nothing but tons of everything
Topic: Weirdness
I noticed I hadn't posted an entry in a few days. Then, you know how I go, my mind starts wandering about what I've done in the last week. Hence the "Lots of nothing but tons of everything" :)

Chris went on a mission last week. He passes a car lot (or 4 actually) everyday and can't help but check out the cars. Well, he decided he'd just "drop" in and that's where it started. Since last Tuesday, he's been dealing with this car lot and VOILA!! I have a new car!! :) And the beauty part is that I didn't have to do any of the haggling or nagging or even unloading my old car with the tears welling up out of the sentimental value it holds to me. He just kept showing up with different cars for me to say yes or no to. He showed up with a GMC Yukon XL. I said no. Then when he called to find out the bottom line numbers, I couldn't say no!! :) Therefore I'm driving a car that will now hold 4-5 more kids ;) LOL

Then Saturday we got to drive our new car down to Norman for the OU/Texas Tech game. Goober went along (much to the dismay of Bubba) but he was an angel baby and LOVED the game! He kept screaming at the top of his lungs and shaking his hands at them!! It was a blast!! I took a ton of pics and we were all worn out.

But then the yuckiness started. Someone has replaced my sweet lover boy with a devil child! These aren't just moments either, they are pure torture!! I am a very patient person with him, and he reacts positively to that, but yesterday, in the time span of 5 hours, I had to walk away 3 times!!!!!!!!! Now that's bad!! I guess he's trying to exert his independence but that, my friends, is going to get his little hiney swatted more times than I care to count! Even today during his speech therapy, he refused to listen or work with his therapist. She kept looking at me and saying, "I have never seen him act like this before!! You're going to pull your hair out!" Ya think??? ;)

The other yuckiness has to do with a. . .bet, made by my dad and his salesmen. Now it is a good thing for the salesmen because they reached their goal, but a bad thing for those closest to dad (isn't he cute?!?!)

because now he has NO HAIR!!!

We all (Carly, Jason, Chris & I) went to "support" him and at one point we all, even dad, almost cried! When we called my mom (who was conveniently in Talequah), we reminded her that she took vows when they married and she has to stick by him. She said in a nervous laugh, "Alright, but his hair was the one thing that made me and everyone else fall in love with him." Well mom, you'll have to find something else now!! :)

So that's been my week. Ups and downs and every where else inbetween. I pray we have a better week with less swatting, less money going to car lots, more winning games and more hair!

UGH!! Oklahoma
Topic: Weirdness
Many people. . .ok most people. . .believe that Oklahomans are backhill rednecks. I always try to prove them wrong because I am the farthest end of the spectrum from those rednecks (those referring to the ones that they interview after a tornado or major fire! LOL). The man. . .the man that I saw that spawned this entry. . .is one of "those."

We went to the garden store to pick up bug spray. He gets out of an old Honda. Black hightops. . .white socks. . .how could I see his socks you wonder?? Well, the very flashy and snazzy gray heather sweatpants he was wearing happened to be WAY too short and WAY too tight. With the latest style in sweatpants he also wore a button down shirt that he'd every so cleverly ripped the sleeves off of. But that's not all folks!! Not only do we get the 80's hightops, tight short sweatpants and homemade shirt, but we also get the fanny pack with matching cowboy hat. That's right! A FANNY PACK AND COWBOY HAT!!!!!!!!!

Man I love Oklahoma!!!!!

Funnier than. . .well. . .just funny!
Topic: Me!
No, don't worry, I won't go into another tangent about how I'm not funny when in all reality I truly am funny. I just want to share with you things that crack me up!!

My mom - this woman calls me at 4:46 am because she's headed to Two Horse Town, Oklahoma, wasn't exactly paying attention to her driving, plows into a curb and explodes a front tire. No problem, I'll drive the one mile to pick you up, call the wrecker, keep my husband awake (he ends up going to sit with the Burban anyway) all in the name of good humor. Less than 24 hours later, she's back on the road, new tire in the wrong spot, talking on her cell phone (to me none the less!), radio blaring and tv on. Mom's antics like this crack me up!

Carly - my poor sister. I am so thankful she found Jason. . .although her losing the keys, him finding the keys and then the two of them losing the keys again doesn't vote well. But as long as it keeps her out of trouble with the law and her car scratchless, he gets my vote!!

Chris - I am now forbid to talk about the provolone incident. . .but HOLY MOLY is it funny. It's classic Chris and I think it's awesome, he fails to see it that way.

TV - I love funny tv commercials. My favs right now are the FedEx commercial ~ "Then send it on to FunkyTown." It gets me everytime. And the Nextel commercial with the guys dancing in the office. Saw that during an OU game (BOOMER SOONER!!!) and LOVED it.

My favorite parts from movies - For some reason I find them humorous and end up curled in the fetal position trying to catch my breath, but once again, not everyone has my kind of humor. First example, Mr. Goodfellow or whatever it's called with Adam Sandler. The butler says, "I have a feeling you have underestimated my sneakiness sir." LOVE IT!!!!!!! And the Security Guard movie with Martin Lawrence. They end up in a trash "thing" and Martin Lawrence grabs the scented hanging pine tree from the rearview mirror and proceeds to place it on his nose. ROTFLOL Ahhhh. . . .maybe it's the pain pills.

Comedians - I'm a sucker for the Comedy Channel, however I failed to find interest in Last Comic Standing or whatever it's called. I love the comedy of Robin Williams, although when he gets started and into it, I tend to get lost because he speaks to freaking fast. I also enjoy Damon Wayans. I saw his routine about 3 years ago on HBO and haven't forgotten it. Ron White. . .that drunk fat man is absolutely a riot. Tater tot. . .I don't care who ya are, that's funny there. ;)

Oh well. . .so you didn't really get what makes me laugh. I'll work on you. You'll get it one day and thank me and name your subsequent children after me. . . .you will!!!

Wow!!
Topic: Weirdness
I know that I've recently done a list of favs, but HOLY MOLY!! You've so got to try this!!!

The ladies on my May board were talking about how to get crayon off of wood etc., and one of them recommended Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. I kept thinking, nah, who needs that?!?! Then Cale wrote on the coffee table in pen. NOTHING could get it off! So I had Chris pick up a pack at the store. I never got around to using it and today I decided. . .why not try??

OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! This thing worked miracles!! It got the pen off the coffee table, it got scuff marks off the door frames (you know the ones. . .where you've tried to lightly and gracefully go over the safety gates and ended up jamming your foot, catching yourself as you knocked over everything on the table inside the kitchen and mumbling awful things under your breath?!?! LOL), it got scuff marks off the backdoor where we've kicked it closed, the "yellowing" around the light switches GONE!! :) Seriously. . .this thing rocks!! So go get one!! Or. . .the link that I put above. . .they'll send you a sample!! :) WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now won't Chris be happy that I actually DID something today!! LOL