Topic: Momma's Lover Dover
DISCIPLINE. It's a word that every parent knows. It's also something very hard to do. And to do it RIGHT. We try, we really do, but sometimes. . .well. . .you just get that "evil" feeling and your mouth winds up in a smirk and a chuckle comes out.
Want an example?? Well, funny you should ask because this story, the one I'm about to tell, happened this morning about 10:30am. It actually warranted a phone call to Bubba so he could enjoy it with me.
Cale has outside shoes. He has to get them on to go play in the backyard. They're water shoes, which makes them easy to clean should he make the unfortunate mistake of walking through mud or one of Skye's special prizes. Today, it was a nice chilly 39? outside and Cale comes back to my bedroom where I'm folding laundry, outside shoes in hand, leans AROUND the corner and announces, "Tale doe-ing outside Momma" and proceeds to walk down the hall. Very calmly I call his name and tell him it's too cold. No response. Again, still calm, I call his name again and tell him I want to talk to him. No response. I'm watching the security monitor on the wall to see if the number 2 starts to flash. Flashing number 2 = sliding glass door open. BAM! That dang thing starts to flash. So I walk to backdoor, I didn't even say a word and he SHRIEKS at me. I tell him if he doesn't come in he'll go to time out and I start the counting (this is our method of disciplining and it works pretty well. . .my parents were surprised!). On one, he opens the door, screams, hits me, pinches me and screams some more. That's an immediate sentence to time-out. As he's screaming down the hall, he turns to hit me again. I let him and tell him he's now going to get TWO time outs. Then, in his shrillest voice, he screams "DON'T VISIT ME!!!" and I announce (still calm which is odd) that he now gets THREE time outs.
I visit him after each two minute period to let him know he doesn't do the prior offense and that he now gets to sit there again for hitting/pinching/screaming etc.
After visiting him twice, I hear him get mad and he starts to bang his head against the wall. He does this, sits there and tries to flatten out the back of his head. It's kind of pleasing because we know we've really gotten to him. After two minutes of head banging, I get to his doorway in time for him to look at me, wrinkle up his face in sheer anger and thrust his head into the wall. This, my friends is where the evil parent kicks in. The force and vibration up the wall causes his clock to fall. . .ON HIM!!!! It was like it was a set up because he didn't see it coming, I did, but he didn't and it was a direct strike. He literally FLIPPED out and as he shook from the sudden shock of it all, I had to muffle laughter. (I did keep it muffled until he didn't know what I was laughing about, and yes, I did comfort him as he slobbered up and down my face and shirt.) It's that "You actually kind of deserved what you got" feeling. Mean huh?? But know what Chris did?? He almost peed his pants. . .right there in the middle of the floor at his work. And he also agreed, it was FUH-NNY!
It's amazing that we can get satisfaction out of things that we didn't even cause. And although it is mean, we've all been there. If you say you haven't found pleasure in something like this happening. . .well. . .you lie! LOL