The belly
Topic: Me!
I've always heard pregnant women say that ONE day they wake up and BAM (in my best Emeril impression) they have this belly. Well, that happened awhile ago for me, but SHOOT FIRE!! Have you seen this sucker lately?!?!? It's seriously MASSIVE!!!!! I mean really!! It's pretty bad when the dr goes to examine the ever growing stomach and as he's pushing trying to locate the top of my uterus says, "Whoa, you're big!" Thanks doc. That helps things a ton.

But the thing that I've never "gotten" about people is the fact that they think they can tell me what THEY think about my size. Want some examples?? Good. I have a few.

Mom ~ "Well, I guess you're starting to show."
My inner remark ~ "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? I LOST 20LBS AND THIS IS NOT ALL FAT WOMAN! THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING HERE!!"

Another family member to remain anonymous ~ "I see you've gained all that weight back, you've blown up since I saw you last."
My inner remark ~ "CAN I SLAP YOU SILLY PLEASE??????????"

Carly ~ *muffling laughter as I unzip my jacket* "OMG. . .look at that BELLY!!!"
My inner remark ~ "Listen here you 5'1" midget. . .let's see how YOU look when you get pregnant and don't start complaining to me about how fat you look and for God's sake quit cutting your hair!!!"

Chris ~ "WHOA!! HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BELLY!!!" *now rubbing it* "Oooooooohhhh that's niiiiiiiceeeee."

Now, while we're on the topic of bellies and Chris, this man has a problem. He's one of those men that finds pregnant women VERY attractive. Granted, he's done his fair share at joking about my size and the fact that I'm backwards as far as weight gaining, but he loves the belly. He pats and rubs and pokes and pushes and talks and kisses it. Some of those things I find cool while others drive me to drink. But it is a great feeling to know that even though my stomach is GROWING out of control, this man that I call Bubba will love the belly more and more each day. That rocks.

So without further ado, here's a pic you will NOT see on my site (go there for other belly pics). This is the closest the public will see of my naked belly, but I was perplexed by its hardness and roundness. And I want to save everyone from the war scars of Cale's habitation in my stomach. Excuse the wild hair and excuse my baggy butt pants. I need ones that actually fit :) And if you look closely on the right of the pic (the actual belly part) you can see a red mark. . .that being a reminder of my lovely gallbladder that I'd like to step on for torturing me. Enjoy the view.

What I'm listening to. . . .
Topic: Weirdness
To get the full effect, imagine a totally white backdrop, see Paul Simon and Chevy Chase playing trumpets. . .feel it yet????

~~~~~~~~

**singing**Where's my wife and family? What if I die here? Who'll be my role model, now that my role model is gone. Gone.

He ducked back down the alley with some, roly poly little batfaced girl.

All along, along, there were incidents and accidents there were hints and allegations.

If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal. I can call you Betty and Betty when you call me you can call me Al. Call me Al.

~~~~~~~~

One of my first MTV memories ;) And I LOVE IT!!!!! I just can't help but want to stand and kick my legs out. Maybe wear an ugly Hawaiian shirt. . .anyone else?? No wonder Chris doesn't want to hang out with me! LOL

Time for annoyances again
Topic: Me!
I had a seriously awful day today and so maybe it's that, maybe it's pregnancy, or maybe it's just time for another post on things to annoy me. And people, if you've not seen the movie Ladder 49, discontinue your blog reading.

How to annoy me:

Tell me you'll do something and then don't do it: whether it be calling me back or pooping on the potty.

Don't use your blinkers.

Stand over me as I type on the computer and say, "Hey. . .since you're not doing anything. . ."

When I say, "Oh, we want to see Ladder 49 SO BADLY," you respond, "Oh, we watched that last night and it was pretty good, but it sucks that the younger guy dies at the end."

Think that every ache or slight discomfort means you're dying of some hideous disease. There are some of us that suffer from chronic pain and we'd be glad to share it with you so you WILL have some real discomfort.

Start a sentence and then stop in the dead middle of it. When I ask you to finish, claim you weren't talking to begin with.

Ask me for a list of what I want for a present and then don't buy a thing off of it.

Should I feel better now??? Because I don't yet. . .so maybe I should just go to sleep! :) Hey!! There's a smile!! ;)

He got me again
Topic: Momma's Lover Dover
I had always heard that there would be a moment in time, maybe more than one, when your child says or asks something so profound that you just stop. Well, my Lover had one of those such moments on Monday night.

I've asked him before what's in the sky and he'd tell me airplanes. Ok, he's right, there are airplanes in the sky. So when he came to me Monday, propped himself up on the side of my chair and looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes and said, "Momma, Meme's up there," I was caught off guard. (FYI, Meme was my great-grandmother who passed away in Mar of 96) I looked at him and said, "Meme's up where Lover?" Here's the way the rest of the conversation played out.

Cale ~ "Meme's up in heaven."

Me ~ "Yep, Meme's in heaven."

Cale ~ "Momma, Momma's Pa's in heaven too." (Pa being my maternal grandfather that passed in Feb 95"

Me ~ "Yes! Very good, Momma's Pa is in heaven."

Cale ~ "Momma's Pa is Oma's Pa. That's right, Oma's Pa is in heaven."

Me ~ "Yep, Momma's Pa is Oma's Pa."

Cale ~ "Momma, Grandpa's in heaven."

Me ~ *now fighting tears* "Yes Lover, Grandpa just went to heaven didn't he?"

Cale ~ "That's right. Momma misses Grandpa."

Me ~ "You're right Lover. Momma misses Grandpa a lot."

Cale ~ "Momma, Momma, Mama's in heaven. Papa's at home."

Me ~ "Yes, Mama is in heaven and Papa is at home."

Cale ~ "Momma, Momma, Momma. Where's heaven?"

Me ~ *sitting in stunned silence wondering if he'd rather talk about where babies come from* After regaining my composure - "Well Lover, it's way up high in the sky, in the clouds where we can't see, but one day we will get to."

This child then goes over to the sliding door and looks out and says, "MOMMA!! There's Meme and Poppy!!!! In heaven!!"

I never expected to have a conversation like that with a not even 3 year old. I honestly never thought he'd "get it" with the whole heaven thing. We didn't start telling him that until Mama passed in Aug. When he sees her picture he names her and tells us that she's in heaven. So when my Grandpa died in Dec, we also told him that he'd gone to heaven. We used it as a way to explain the lack of their presence at their houses, etc. I never thought he'd grasp the concept that heaven is a place, a place where people go, a place that we'll get to see later.

I'm still shocked that he does understand, however little it is, but I worry that he understands too much. I want him to stay young and innocent for as long as possible. I don't want to push him to grow up too fast. I want him to explore and do stupid stuff and be loud when he should be quiet (which he does VERY well). But I know that I'm doing the best I can do and he'll turn out just wonderfully. He's my Lover Dover after all. . .my big, huge, blonde, blue eyed, smart Lover Dover. And he steals my heart. . . . . .

Excuse me while I speak to the child
Topic: Weirdness
Hello. . .little big baby inside my HUGE stomach. Would you mind FLIPPING YOUR TINY BUTT AROUND?????? Seriously. . .I hate to keep comparing you to Cale, but he was head down at this point in his early development. I know you're in there, I know you can hear me! Why have you ignored my pleading and begging?? A bladder is not for jumping on, neither is the bed or couch, so just flip your little self head down, kick the crap out of my waist and let's call it a day. Whaddya say?? Stop it. STOP. IT. I feel you doing that. What about food. Wanna bargain with food?? How about salsa? Will that work?? Or pizza?? Or broccoli?? JUST TELL ME WHAT I MUST DO???

I guess we'll get back to this later. . .you're jumping again and the urge to pee is overwhelming. Now it's not. Now it is. Now it's not. STOP THE INSANITY!!!!!!

Ahhhh. . .discipline
Topic: Momma's Lover Dover
DISCIPLINE. It's a word that every parent knows. It's also something very hard to do. And to do it RIGHT. We try, we really do, but sometimes. . .well. . .you just get that "evil" feeling and your mouth winds up in a smirk and a chuckle comes out.

Want an example?? Well, funny you should ask because this story, the one I'm about to tell, happened this morning about 10:30am. It actually warranted a phone call to Bubba so he could enjoy it with me.

Cale has outside shoes. He has to get them on to go play in the backyard. They're water shoes, which makes them easy to clean should he make the unfortunate mistake of walking through mud or one of Skye's special prizes. Today, it was a nice chilly 39? outside and Cale comes back to my bedroom where I'm folding laundry, outside shoes in hand, leans AROUND the corner and announces, "Tale doe-ing outside Momma" and proceeds to walk down the hall. Very calmly I call his name and tell him it's too cold. No response. Again, still calm, I call his name again and tell him I want to talk to him. No response. I'm watching the security monitor on the wall to see if the number 2 starts to flash. Flashing number 2 = sliding glass door open. BAM! That dang thing starts to flash. So I walk to backdoor, I didn't even say a word and he SHRIEKS at me. I tell him if he doesn't come in he'll go to time out and I start the counting (this is our method of disciplining and it works pretty well. . .my parents were surprised!). On one, he opens the door, screams, hits me, pinches me and screams some more. That's an immediate sentence to time-out. As he's screaming down the hall, he turns to hit me again. I let him and tell him he's now going to get TWO time outs. Then, in his shrillest voice, he screams "DON'T VISIT ME!!!" and I announce (still calm which is odd) that he now gets THREE time outs.

I visit him after each two minute period to let him know he doesn't do the prior offense and that he now gets to sit there again for hitting/pinching/screaming etc.

After visiting him twice, I hear him get mad and he starts to bang his head against the wall. He does this, sits there and tries to flatten out the back of his head. It's kind of pleasing because we know we've really gotten to him. After two minutes of head banging, I get to his doorway in time for him to look at me, wrinkle up his face in sheer anger and thrust his head into the wall. This, my friends is where the evil parent kicks in. The force and vibration up the wall causes his clock to fall. . .ON HIM!!!! It was like it was a set up because he didn't see it coming, I did, but he didn't and it was a direct strike. He literally FLIPPED out and as he shook from the sudden shock of it all, I had to muffle laughter. (I did keep it muffled until he didn't know what I was laughing about, and yes, I did comfort him as he slobbered up and down my face and shirt.) It's that "You actually kind of deserved what you got" feeling. Mean huh?? But know what Chris did?? He almost peed his pants. . .right there in the middle of the floor at his work. And he also agreed, it was FUH-NNY!

It's amazing that we can get satisfaction out of things that we didn't even cause. And although it is mean, we've all been there. If you say you haven't found pleasure in something like this happening. . .well. . .you lie! LOL

Don't read if you're hungry!!
This is a long time coming post, but first, I have to build up so you "get" it.

I have been craving Mexican food. We used to eat it at least once a week, if not more, but then my gallbladder thing kicked in and Chris started the Atkins diet again so we just prohibited the consumption of Mexican food. My parents took me to Ted's (our ALL TIME FAVORITE MEXICAN jive - if you're ever in OKC, look it up or call me!! Ted's Cafe Escondido!) when I felt like getting out of the house, but that didn't stop the cravings. So, Chris finally felt sorry enough for me to take me to On The Border for some chips and salsa etc. We eat and enjoy and laugh and have a great time, but preggo lady here, can't seem to put the chips down. Chris takes my salsa, the basket of chips and sharply says, "STOP EATING!" Ummm. . .was he seriously born yesterday because you DO. NOT. take food from 1. A pregnant woman 2. A pregnant woman that went almost 6 weeks without anything with a fat content higher than 4. I complained and threw a fit and laughed out of confusion for the next 20 minutes. Finally, it occurred to me as Chris got off the highway an exit early, that dessert was in store. Remember the SOMETHING CHOCOLATE brownie that I love?? (I can't find the posts to link to in case you missed them.) THAT'S what he was after!!!

So, as I promised last time, here are 2 pics. They don't quite capture the monstrosity of this dessert, but the three of us couldn't finish this sin of a food!

I left my spoon in there to give you some kind of relation, but gave up because it was SCREAMING my name. Have you ever heard a brownie dessert scream?? Trust me, you cannot ignore it. When you bring this home, they have to SMASH it down with the lid and they put the home-made whipped cream with chocolate shavings on the side. This should explain why it's not near as pretty as when you sit down at Red Rock.

So enjoy the pictures and let your imagination run with you. No, it's not as good as it looks. It's ten BILLION times better and I, in turn, am a better person for having eaten it. *wink*

Oh baby!
On Thursday we had the BIG ultra-sound done. I was SO excited I didn't know what to do!! We got right in and she started and we immediately saw the newest member of our family. There is absolutely NOTHING like seeing that baby!! I know that we got to have an u/s before and after surgery, but we didn't get to spend time looking at features and watching movement. This time we did and it was just magical! The tech measured everything and then said, "Let me look down here, that is, if you want to know the sex." Chris, in his nice polite smart butt tone said, "That would be a definite YES. If you can tell. . ." And she goes, "Oh, I can definitely tell. That right there is a penis, it's definitely a boy." We all screamed WHAT!?!? And then dead silence followed. It seemed the majority of our family believed with every inch of their beings that this was a girl. She said, "Oh yeah, it's a boy!!!" And I started to cry (when do I not cry?!?) and we all laughed. Then it hit me. I'M GOING TO HAVE TWO BOYS. T.W.O.

With Cale, I knew it was a boy before going for the u/s. I was prepared. Lots of things come with boys. My Aunt Denise said it best, "Get ready for slimey bugs and gross stuff in pockets. You better not be squimish." But that's the thing. I am!!! I hate being outside, I hate getting dirty, I hate bugs. . .I'm a girl!! BUT, the opposite side is, I'm not a girly girl. I do not like lace and frilly crap. I like simple preppy things ;) During school I was a GAP fanatic. SERIOUSLY! I was the girl in the plaid GAP skirt, matching oxford shirt, silver belt, white socks and Cole Haan shoes!! So two boys. . .well, I've learned to handle Cale right?? I do go outside, I just try not to breathe, I didn't freak out too bad when he handed me a dead bug and I kept my cool when he picked up dog poop. I can do two. Yeah. . .I can (please pray for me!! LOL).

I know they'll be the best of friends and play and get in trouble together. And although Cale told us that this was his baby sister, I honestly believe that he doesn't care, he just wants a baby. In fact, he told me to go have the baby today.

Many want to know his name. His name will be Pruitt Oliver Brian Nard. Yes, we did the two middle name thing AGAIN. We had to!! In case you didn't know, Cale's middle names are Russell Thomas. Russell is dad's middle name and my Grandpa's name. Thomas is Chris' dad's middle name. So, since we honored our fathers' sides with Cale, we will honor the moms' sides. Oliver came from my great-grandpa and Brian from Chris' great-grandpa that was killed when Pa was only 8.

Pruitt's name was a huge debate. We both loved it and have since Cale was born. It also keeps the C-P-C-P pattern going. But, knowing what a circle it was for Pruitt and Grandpa, I kept feeling like I needed to honor his memory in some way also. But Chris put me at ease. Grandpa knew Cale. He loved him so much and got to spend time with him. Grandpa was PROUD that Cale carried his name (he even praised me for not using Irdyll!!). Regardless of name, Pruitt will always share something with Grandpa. And, in a way, we're blaming Grandpa for Pruitt being Pruitt instead of being Paley!!

Thanks to my sweet dear husband, whom sacrificed his work time to scan the pictures in on Friday afternoon (BIG STRETCH THERE BUBBA!!), you can now go and see the ultra-sound pictures of our new BIG boy. He's completely healthy and perfect and, like his big brother, measuring big. We are shooting for the first week of August. . .dad and I are thinking Aug 4 or 5 (the Park side knows why).

We've also set up a registry if you're feeling extremely generous. This one is at Babies R Us and we may have another one somewhere. . .if I can EVER figure out what bedding I want. I'm so dang picky!!

Now you have the BIG news!! You know I'll keep ya updated on our status. What else would I talk about?!?!

I'm alive!
Topic: Weirdness
I know I know. . .I haven't updated this lately. But, you can all sleep soundly tonight because I am alive. I did make it through surgery and so did "Dot." We had a bit of trouble with pain relief which meant I was aware of all the pain after surgery, but I now feel like a new woman!!

Wednesday after I'd written my last entry, we went and had dinner with Ma and Pa (Chris' grandparents). I had MAYBE two whole tortilla chips and BAM. . .another attack. It kind of gave me peace of mind to know that we needed to get the darned thing out. The surgeon said it was twice the normal size, filled with sludge and numerous tiny stones. If I felt up to the challenge, I'd post the pics for you. ;) A week later at my post op appointments, I'd lost a total of 20 pounds, but felt better and "Dot" was a trooper through it all. Now I'm enjoying anything I can get my hands on, but it's taken me awhile to lose my "I can't eat anything" frame of mind.

Now, on other news, this Thurs at 2 CST, we go to find out what "Dot" really is!! We can hardly wait!! Then we'll go shopping and start planning like mad! The general feeling of family and friends is a girl, but unlike Cale, I have no sure and certain feelings what this one is. Kind of strange really. But the beauty part is that means I'll be happy and euphoric and won't be disappointed no matter what the outcome. . .unless we don't get to find out and then I'll be a force to reckon with! LOL

And on another front, iVillage is who I hosted all of my websites with. Well, they're not hosting them anymore and were supposed to transfer all of the information over to Lycos about 3 weeks ago. So far that I've heard, no one's sites have been transferred so I'm not sure what's up with it. So if anyone knows of a great website builder that's free with PLENTY of room, please let me know! Ya know, just in case I have to rebuild the MILLIONS OF PAGES. Then I'll be yet another force to reckon with! LOL Maybe I should just go take a nap and come back to this later so I'm not so threatening!! ;)

Bring on the food!
Topic: Me!
You all know how miserable I've been on my gallbladder chicken diet and according to my OB's official weight records, as of Monday I'd lost 16 pounds.

I am the type of person to fight fear, uncertainty and sadness with joking and laughter. But beneath the jokes and comments, I'm getting nervous. I sat here a minute ago and went through the past posts on my Grandpa - his death and how he's a special angel to "Dot." I didn't know why I was doing this, it always makes me cry and brings back a flood of emotions, but then it hit me. The peace of mind that I get from knowing he's watching over us is what makes me joke and not worry about tomorrow. Yeah, the food's a giant factor in that also, but I'm more worried about the well-being of this creature that is making my belly stick out.

You can tell me how easy it will be, you can tell me much it hurts, tell me what you want, but I will just see how well I do tomorrow and the days after. You can tell me "Dot" will be fine and unscathed when we get to see him/her in August, but again, I'll wait to make sure by myself. But you can agree with me that God and Grandpa will be with us tomorrow and that will make life better and easier. That and the buffets I plan to hit on the way home from the hospital! ;)